Mothering From The Heart - May 23, 2019
Series:
Summary
- I’ve been invited to attend a small ladies study that will be using a book about 1 Peter, written by Jen Wilken. Do you think it would still be a good idea to attend and be able to refute anything that’s brought up that’s not correct, or to stay away and let my friend know why? This is mostly a group of moms that stay home and take care of their children. I’d appreciate your thought on this.
- I have been wanting to write you for a number of years now, but haven't been sure how to formulate the right words. So, I will do my best...A little background...I am the only believer on both sides of my husband and my family. I became a Christian after I got married for which I am so grateful . As you can image, this is very tough on me but I pray fervently for all of their salvation. There is one area that I have especially struggled with. It's our relationship with my mother in law. This particular issue has caused a lot of tension and heartache within my marriage and life. I have searched out my own heart, confessed, repented, and have been walking in forgiveness with God's grace. However, I have never encountered someone in my life like her before. Please forgive me for being so forward but she is honestly the most selfish, inconsiderate person I have ever met. She is a widow and didn’t have a good marriage to my husbands father. Over the past 12 years, I have realized she has no respect for my husband and I, no social graces, consideration, undermines our parenting, and it's all about her, etc. As I have been walking in forgiveness (I listened to your series on this~ thank you!) I still struggle with anger and frustration every time she calls, texts, comes to visit because she always offends or upsets. My husband is very passive (a way he has had to deal with this throughout his life) but has started to put healthy boundaries up. If she doesn’t get her way she becomes passive aggressive. I honestly think something is wrong. Now I have to say, I am not perfect either (obviously I am a sinner) but I have always made the effort to show respect, go out of my way to extend grace and kindness and let my husband handle situations. I know I have to honor her as his mother.
My question is, how do I handle this practically? How as Christians do we handle very difficult people or close family that we have to be in contact with? I feel like it’s constant and I can never escape it. I know God is using this to chisel me but I need to learn to handle this better because she is and will be in our lives. It’s gotten to the point where I don’t want to be around her but I keep praying. She lives out of town but when she comes to visit, it’s usually for several weeks with no end date so we have had to reign that in too. We tell her sometimes it’s not a good time for visits and then she gets mad. She only lives two hours away now and this has become a constant thing. There is no respect for our time, home, anything. As an unbeliever, she is also not a good influence on my kids which worries me but I have had to put that in the Lords hands. We always keep a close eye and correct as needed. Luckily my husband has strong morals and values so that helps even though he is still an unbeliever. Do you have any suggestions for me? Is it ok to set healthy boundaries and stand firm but also do it in a respectful way? I want to do the right, Godly thing to honor the Lord. My husband and I agree that this is very toxic but it’s still his mother. I am really struggling and it’s getting worse. I know this is a tough question. Please help!!
Thank you for taking the time to read this lengthy email question. I would so appreciate any insight or help you may have even if the truth hurts. I really think this can apply to any difficult person we have to be in relationship with. You are more than welcome to modify or share this question if you think this may be helpful to others. - Would it be appropriate for a brother to take a sister on a date, instead of son taking mom?
- What advice would you give to a Christian couple who is thinking about having children, but the wife wants to be stay-at-home mom and the husband wants her because of the money?
- What is a healthy balance between being a homemaker and a worker in the home with all the small businesses such as Trades of Hope, Matilda Jane, etc.
- I have had boys two years apart. I made the older brother share and "look out" for the younger. Now they are teenagers and the oldest is a 'pleaser' type. Sometimes I am concerned that the oldest is too passive and selfless and maybe lacks confidence. What advice can you give for this?
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